Date: Dec 2011
About a year & a half ago, I was asked where in the world I wanted to travel to. I mentioned a long list of places then added as an afterthought, “and of course Makkah coz Muslims need to perform the pilgrimage if they’re able to”
Now… my heart yearns only for the beitullah!
Previously, hijaab meant covering my ‘awrah only. Now, hijaab includes modesty and character. the respect I show, the dignity with which I walk, the manner in which I speak.
I remember a time when I had everything I ever wanted, I was even making a difference in people’s lives… & yet, there was always a void in my heart. No matter what I did or how much I had, nothing could fill that emptiness. & it got to such a point, where I became angry and frustrated all the time. I was arrogant, ignorant & proud, & I didn’t even know it. I don’t speak about my past with pride, but rather as a reminder and lesson for others Insha-Allah.
I then began my journey through the Quran and the various sciences of our deen, & slowly but surely my life started changing alhamdulillah. A few months into this this journey I realised that the anger & frustration has vanished. The arrogance and pride had subsided considerably & my heart yearned to submit to my Allah! To be the ‘ibaadurRahmaan that Allah describes in Surah Furqaan.
Ibn Qayyim R.A.A said: “In the heart there is an emptiness that cannot be filled except with love for Allah and by turning to Him and always remembering Him. And if a person were given all of the world and what was in it, it would not fill this emptiness.” SubhaanAllah! How aptly it describes my situation. Allahu Akbar!
I am truly blessed to be surrounded by people who remind me of Allah. Who encourage me to attain the pleasure of my Lord.
Not too long ago, I used to be among those who thought little to nothing of Islam. I knew, in the recesses of my mind, that Islam was in fact the truth. But ignorance and arrogance blinded me to the true beauty of my deen. I allowed my nafs and Shaitaan to overpower me to the extent that I thought I was treading upon the siraatal mustaqeem, when in fact… I was treading the path to Jahannam, inviting others along with me & the worst part is I didn’t even know it. May Allah forgive me.
My challenges now are far greater than they were before. Shaitaan tempts me at every corner, wanting me to deviate from the straight path. But I am determined not to give in. I’d rather be tested with temptations, than to be robbed of the countenance & the pleasure of my Allah.
May Allah S.W.T grant us all to live & die as believers, so that we may be raised as believers on the day of Qiyaamah.
May Allah accept.
