Yesterday, for the first time in months, I didn’t have to bandage my little guy’s torso. The result: I got to touch his back, tummy and chest like regular mommas do. I got to smell his unique baby scent (you know, the one that fades away as they grow older), and I was so glad that I hadn’t missed it. In fact, up until that point, I hadn’t realised that I hadn’t been experiencing his baby scent much because of all the layers of bandage among other things.
I’ve been enjoying feeling my son’s skin (sidenote: in this sick world we live in, just thinking of how the words caress, touch, feel his skin can be misinterpreted, or just the negative connotations it can have, I get sick to my stomach, but these words are necessary to describe what I feel right now, so I’ll ignore the nausea and continue).
For the first time in I don’t know how long, I was able to carress my little ones tummy without any concern about causing him harm. I didn’t have to worry about an open wound getting damaged further, or accidentally lifting his skin from its place. I didn’t have to worry about popping blisters (though I did worry that his lack of layers and the way we handle him may cause his skin to blister).
I was so excited yesterday when I saw his arm unbandaged. His bandage and dressing had come off no its own and the skin underneath was looking healthy. I worried a bit that it may not be strong enough to be unbandaged, but figured since we had to bath him anyway, I might as well leave it open and see how his skin fares in the process. some time later his arm started itching and he rubbed it against his bouncer. The bouncer is smooth, but in less than two minutes he had somehow managed rub his skin open, and even lifted the roof of his skin on one spot. His arm was bandaged after that, and so when we bathed him and saw that he had no wounds on his torso, I was excited to leave it unbandaged, but also worried about what could happen because of it.
Twelve hours later, his skin is still good with only one small area which looks like it may break down soon. But even this concern doesn’t bother me too much in the greater scheme of things. I got to smell his baby scent, and caress his soft baby skin. I got to hold him and not worry about the layers of bandages causing him to overheat or cause friction.
This morning I realised just how much I take for granted all this time with my other kids. Despite the chaos today may bring, I will resolve to hold my kids just a little bit tighter and appreciate the big and small bounties Allah has gifted me through them.