Dearest husband to be
Did you know that every girl dreams of a Prince Charming who will sweep her off her feet, and ride with her into the sunset on a beautiful white stallion, Hijaab flying in the breeze? Did you know that she’d ideally want a beautiful white bridal dress not only for its elegance but also to symbolise her purity? Did you know that since young, females dream about and plan their wedding day, right down to the very last detail?
“Why?” you may ask. Because in our eyes, this is the most important day of our lives. I guess we become so engrossed in the fairytale stories that the television presents to us, that we unconsciously expect Mr. Right to present himself in the same form. But THIS is not always the case… Especially since all fairytales end with “and they lived happily ever after” no arguments, no fuss.
Truth is, marriage is probably not all moonshine and roses (or so I’ve heard from those before me). But it is definitely something worth striving for. Yes, we too feel the need to be married. But contrary to popular belief, it isn’t for the money or the need to be pleased. Nay, our need is much more urgent than that. A need so strong that to be without it (to us) is a major test from our Lord. It is the safeguarding of our hayaa (modesty), and our urgent need to be closer to Allah. As my beautiful sister once said: “My deen needs completing, my modesty needs protecting”. Hearing these words pour forth from her lips, SubhaanAllah (Glory be to Allah who is free from all imperfections), I yearn to see her enshrouded in love by the one who loves her for Allah’s sake. Every moment of every day, her heart yearns to be closer to her Lord. You’d look upon her smiling face not realising the inner turmoil she experiences.
Dearest husband to be. I DON’T WANT TO BE your 1st love. For that position should be reserved only for Allah. I don’t want to be your second love, because that rank is only for Rasoolullah. I don’t even want to be your 3rd or 4th love because more important than your love for me, is your love for your parents. You see my beloved, if you can uphold the deen of Allah & His Rasool, then Insha-Allah you will treat your parents as they ought to be treated & give your wife her due too. I know that in theory, this is simpler than in practice, but Insha-Allah we will succeed for indeed “innamal a’maalu binniyyaat” (actions are judged by their intentions). And I intend to live with you in the best way so that I can meet my Lord and His habib sallaLlahu ‘alayhi wa sallam in the best of forms.
You see my love, this relationship was never meant to be just about you and I. Everything that we will do will either contribute towards building the ummah of our habib, or breaking it. The ball is in our court.
Yaa Habibi, I want to be able to look at you & say “SubhaanAllah, you are my means to Jannah”. Yaa Habib, I want to memorise the quran at your hands, so that you are rewarded every time I recite the words of Allah. I want to be a shining example of what a muslim wife should be, taking my cue from the womenfolk in our illuminated history; wives such as Aaishah, and Khadijah, Zainab and Faatimah, Nusayba and Umm Sulaim. Women who were dutiful to their spouses, and nurturers to their children whilst still being an active member of their society. I know it won’t be easy, but with a firm intention and your gentle guidance I know we can achieve great things.
My love, I may not yet know you, but I want my son to be just like you; adhering to his covenant with Allah and dealing with His creation, with heart filled with taqwa. I pray that Allah grants us many pious children, who will serve His deen, a pious soccer team if HE so pleased. The first of them I’d like to name Isma’eel, after our father Nabi Isma’eel who as a young boy placed Allah’s command above his own desires when he said: “Oh my father, do that which you’ve been commanded. God willing, you will find me among the patient ones.” This spelled certain death, for Allah had commanded our grandfather Nabi Ibrahim (A.S) to slaughter his young son. SubhaanAllah. Yet Nabi Isma’eel submits willingly, and it is this willing submission that moves me to tears. Ya Habib, for years I have asked Allah to grant us a son like this, and I’m certain He will do just that for verily He says
“I am to my slave whatever he thinks of Me”
And yet I am afraid! For a child like that should have a mother like Haajar, whose unflinching faith in Allah saved her from (what seemed like) certain death, and whose actions were so pleasing to her Rabb that we follow in her footsteps even today. I fear that I may not be able to fulfil the responsibility of motherhood as they ought to be fulfilled. To preserve our kids modesty and fitrah and moulding them into the muslim leaders of our tomorrow.
Habib, I am filled with flaws many of which Allah has concealed. Will you help me in gaining closeness to Him? Will you guide me when I err and make du’a for me throughout the years? Will you promise Allah that you’ll live in a manner which is pleasing to Him? To raise our children in the manner in which He decreed.
My beloved, I may not have met you, but Allah knows that I was always destined for you.
Patiently, I await you…
Your wife to be
