When kids hit the age of puberty, their best friends tend to become their worst enemy. The individuals they ran to for love and support now become the ones they run away from. Life becomes a maze of confusion and all they are left with is that single thread of hope. A thread so strong it never truly breaks. This thread is a relationship. A relationship between a child and their parents!
As children, we generally crave attention. One often tends to forget that the attention we receive from our parents, far surpasses that of any other person. It was your mother who taught you how to say your first word and your father who bought you your first favourite toy. We find that as we get older, our bond with our parents seem to become more and more distant to the extent that our conversations are reduced to greeting upon entering or leaving the home.
Isn’t it funny though, that it is especially at this stage, when we need our parents the most?! Not just their presence or their money, but we want their attention. We want them to see us as “almost adults”. To acknowledge when we do right & to set us straight when we’ve deviated a bit.
Whether we admit it or not, our parents are our stronghold, pillar of strength and favourite shoulder to cry on. Unfortunately years of distant relations have come between what could’ve been of the most beautiful friendships ever. Parents often seem over-eager and overbearing. Always wanting things their way – expecting us to slot into their whims and fancies. They’re constantly on our case & we just can’t seem to do anything right. Yet… the opposite is also true.
Our parents give up so much for us, yet we’re so stingy in showing them our appreciation. Think about it, when we were babies, little and helpless, we gave them sleepless nights because of our crying. We soiled our diapers more than once a day, took up all their time and strength, yet our mothers never battered an eyelid out of annoyance and irritation with us. Even when they were angry at us, their hearts were filled with compassion for their “little darlings”.
Believe it or not, even our fathers have our best interests at heart. Though they might display it in rather strange ways… Like working extra hours to secure that extra for your diapers, your clothing, and your education. They risk themselves in the harsh world so that they can see their little ones (you and I) prosper. This continues until we’re able to stand on our own two feet, and even then, they are still there ready to assist us when we experience harsh times.
So how do we repay them? The fact of the matter is, we will never be able to! Even if we gave them everything we have, everything we are, it would not even reach the outer limits of their kindness unto us! But there are ways in which we can try…
Allah reminds us in His Majestic Quran:
“(First) Your Rabb has commanded that you worship none other than Him alone, and (then) that you be kind and dutiful to your parents; When both of them attain old age, then say not any word (nor sound) of disrespect unto them, nor repel them, but rather address them in terms of honour.
And, out of kindness, lower your wing of humility to them, and say: My Rabb! Bestow Thy Mercy on them just as they showed mercy onto me in my childhood.”
Surah Bani Israa-eel (surah 17 ; 23,24)
And these are not my words, rather they are the words of Allah Most High.
Then from the traditions of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh): where ‘Abdullah bin Mas’ud said: I asked the Prophet (pbuh): Which actions are most beloved to Allah? He said: Salaah on its fixed times; I said: and then which? He said: kindness and respect towards parents; I said: and then which? He said: striving in Allah’s path. (Agreed upon by Bukhari and Muslim)
From this tradition we see that kindness and respect towards parents is even MORE important than struggling in Allah’s path!
This is how we are required to be towards our parents. Not only to have respect and gratitude, but also to develop a bond and an understanding with them.
We should rethink and review our relationship with them. Give them the best of who we are and what we have because they gave us the best of themselves and their possessions without regret and without a second thought.
May Allah grant us the ability to do this. May Allah forgive our parents for their shortcomings and award them the highest ranks in Paradise. Insha Allah. Ameen.
