Two months have passed by my dear one and I still think of you.
I remember those first moments, having just found out that your dad and I were expecting another bundle and your sister another sibling. And though I didn’t ‘feel’ ready for another one, I knew that you were a gift from Allah and your dad and I eagerly awaited your arrival. Then, a week later we received word that your heart beat no more and our dreams of another baby came to a halt.
My little baby, I love you with all that I am. I will forever hold dear the time we spent together. And though we were only together for eight weeks, that makes no difference to my love for you as the love of a mother isn’t subjected to time.
My little baby, I may have never felt you kick inside me, or marveled at how another full grown being was slowly and completely developing inside me, but our short time together has taught me so much about the beauties of life. My little baby, I sometimes wonder what it’d be like to hold you in my arms, and I’m sure that come October this year I’ll think of you just a little bit more as that would’ve been your birth month, but I am not sad. Allah has chosen for you to leave this dunya before even entering it, thereby testing your dad and I with the loss of a loved one.
My little baby, do you know what my favourite pregnancy verse (and du’a) is? Do you remember me reciting
رَبِّ إِنـِّي نَذَرْتُ لَكَ مَا فِـيْ بَطْنِـيْ مُحَرَّرًا فَتَقَبَّلْ مِنّـِيْ إِنَّكَ السَّمِيْعُ الْعَلِيْمُ
Oh my Lord! Verily I have dedicated that which is in my womb solely for Your worship so [please Yaa Rabbi] accept from me. Indeed You are The All-Hearing, The All-Knowing.[Quran 3:35]
My little darling, I’m sure I’ll think of you often in the years to come, but I firmly believe that our Lord has answered my du’a for you. My little baby, Allah has chosen for you to be a means through we received guidance and has made you a sign of His Majesty. So every time we think of you, we are reminded of Him and thus your brief existence ‘in’ this world was one devoted solely to Allah, just as I’d begged of Him in my du’as.
Yaa Allah, let Jannah be our meeting place!
