Every time the president speaks, I feel my anxiety increase. The skin on my head tightens, and my body goes into fight or flight mode. By the end of his speech, I have sensory overload, and with that comes a short fuse and a need to isolate myself from my anxieties and thoughts.
Every time he speaks, it feels as if my body is reliving a trauma, a wound reopening every time it had almost fully healed. And I struggle. I struggle to remain calm and collected. I struggle to think straight and I literally need a few moments to myself to recuperate.
Then I’m reminded of Allah’s words
وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَيْءٍ مِّنَ الْخَوْفِ وَالْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِّنَ الْأَمْوَالِ وَالْأَنفُسِ وَالثَّمَرَاتِ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ الصَّابِرِينَ . الَّذِينَ إِذَا أَصَابَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌ قَالُوا إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ . أُولَٰئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَاتٌ مِّن رَّبِّهِمْ وَرَحْمَةٌ ۖ وَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْمُهْتَدُونَ
We (Allah) will definitely test you with some fear, hunger, loss of wealth, selves and the fruits of your labour. And give glad tidings to the patient. (They are) those who, when calamity befalls them, they say “To Allah we belong and unto Him is our return”. Upon them is the blessings from their Lord, and they are the ones who are guided. [Surah Baqarah verses 155-157]
And I’m reminded of Nabi Ayyub ‘alayhi salaam, a prophet who was tested with all of the above, and yet he remained patient. I’m reminded of his living example and what it means to emulate him. I’m reminded of his endurance and gratitude, and his honourable mentioning and success at the end. And though my tests are different to his, they’re tests nonetheless, only, they’re on a level that I am able to bear. And if I follow the lessons of quran and the lives of our beloved prophets, I too, insha-Allah, will be among the guided.
ALlahumma ameen.